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Junior,
1995.
Junior
August 3, 1995
Junior's Apartment
Upper Tenderloin, San Francisco
Junior's younger brother Bunso is present.
I try not to plan too many things ahead of time; and allow myself to get what I want, without feeling guilty. There's enough guilt in my culture, especially being an older brother, you have to look after your younger brother or your relatives to help them. Sometimes you lose sight about taking care of yourself. The last six months being with BAY Positives really helped me a lot to open up, and not be nervous of what's going on, or if I don't know to ask. And knowing Robert who's Filipino really helped. I don't feel like I'm alone.
MW: Do you feel any particular way about how you're viewed as an HIV positive young person by the government?
Junior: I love the government, at least for now, because I'm not that old. In the Philippines we don't get a lot from the government. Whatever I'm getting now, I'm really happy with. I think there's a big support from the government. There's a lot of agencies here that would help you. I think they're trying to be sensitive about your needs. The only thing I hate is they wait until you don't have anything before they help you. I would rather get help now, so I could start saving, so I won't be depending on disability when I'm old, during the later stage of my disease.
MW: Is AZT the only medication that you take?
Junior: I was off for a month, in July, without my doctor's knowledge. I had to stop taking medication for one month just to clean my system, and I felt good. I'm starting to feel like it has side effects on me. I started taking it again August 1st. And the first day of pills, I'm ready to throw up. I think it was just...
MW: That's just two days ago?
Junior: Yeah. I'm getting used to it again. But yesterday and the day before, it was like ugh! It's like I'm taking toxins. Maybe it's psychological, because I'm learning more and more about the disease and the medication. I'm frightened now about taking medication, because I know there are people who don't take medication but they're still healthy after five, seven years. Maybe I should wait until later. On the other hand, I feel like I need the AZT. I think it helps me, but I don't know how. On Tuesday, I'll see my doctor. I might do a combination or change medications. I think I'd rather do a combination, lower dosage of AZT and maybe DDI or whatever.
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