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Junior,
2000.
Junior,
2000.Junior
October 2000
Life Goes On!
Wake Up Call Number Two!!!
(Do Not Waste Your Chances)
It was in February of 1996 I tried to refocus my partying into something more productive and meaningful. I went home for the first time after testing positive for HIV to my birthplace, Manila, Philippines. That was the first time my family saw me after three years without a visit. My immediate family, as well as three of my closest aunts knew about my HIV status prior to my homecoming. My grandmother knew about it too, but she really does not understand the whole concept. The bottom line is, they knew that I contracted a deadly disease that most cultures would be embarrassed to be associated with.
The highlight of my homecoming occurred on my first night back. A movie about a Filipino gay person was playing on TV. My mom was pretending to do something when it hit me that she was avoiding the show. As far as I know my mom, by that time of the day, would have been in her bedroom watching TV. I yelled down and said to her that there is a TV program that she should watch about a person who is HIV positive. She responded back, "I know, that is why I am not watching TV. I do not think I can watch it." When I heard her, I knew that she was still grappling with the idea that her son has HIV. She does not want to accept the idea that he could die. I realized how hard it was for a mother to know and see her son sick and dying. Even before I was able to come back from the trance I was in I yelled back to her, "Mom, I am still here and will be here."
Often, she asks me if I'm cured. I always answer that the cure is still not here. Sometimes, I wish I could tell her that the cure is here, and I will not die anymore. I wish I could give that to my mom.
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