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James
July 10, 1995
His Apartment (same as Tapestry’s) Lower Haight
MW: Are there still people in your life that you haven't told that you're positive?
James: When I meet a person, unconsciously I start judging them from that moment to see if I want to tell them or not. If I feel comfortable telling them, I do. But if I don't, I don't. It makes me feel guilty sometimes because I feel like I should tell everybody. But sometimes I can't do it. I want to be able to look at other people and say, "This is who I am. If you don't like it, too bad." But, I care too much about what other people think.
MW: Has your lifestyle changed since you tested positive?
James: You know, I think for a lot of people who test positive, it takes awhile for it to hit them in the head, that you can't go around and sleep with people, and not use protection. Even I did it. And now I live with this guilt. I've grown up. Now life is: sit back and analyze the lessons I learned from this trauma, and sit back and analyze the lessons I learned from that trauma. After falling, and slipping, and busting your ass, you get tired of it. I don't get bit by the same bug twice. My life is not perfect. It's not even organized. But, I am aware of what's wrong with my life.
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