|
Page 5
Anya
August 22, 1995
Anya's Apartment, Sunset District, San Francisco
Part of the reason I had to tell my parents right away was because I just couldn't be alone in this knowledge. You never realize how strong love is until you test its bounds. It comes in the form of people who can say to you, "I'll do anything for you. What do you need?" They offered their ear at any hour, and let me move back home because they wanted to baby me while I went through the beginnings of this process. I was surprised. "People love me that much?"
I didn't tell my other siblings that day, but I called my sister and my brother, and we asked them to come over to the house so we could tell them in person. It is awful to tell people that you love one after the other that you've got this disease. They're 13, 15, and 17 years older than me and they're all married and have kids. Two of them had been heavy drug users. They said, "I can't believe we got out of this and it infected you. You never shot up and weren't promiscuous."
MW: Have you been in any relationships since
David?
Anya: I've dated and that's been really difficult. Relationships haven't been first and foremost in my life.
MW: Is it difficult to find acceptance due to people's preconceptions about HIV?
Anya: You know, I'm not a gay man, and I don't want to pretend like I know what it's like for other people to go through this, but talking to HIV positive gay men, my feeling is that they've been around it so much that they don't have a problem with it. I think there's more acceptance among them than in the straight community. I've dated really intelligent men, an acupuncturist, a doctor, a therapist, and their reactions were just... I mean the acupuncturist, who treats HIV positive clients eighty percent of the time, wasn't sure if we should kiss or not. The straight community is just not used to it yet. They don't think that it affects them, but Hello!
It's fucked that one of the things that should be really natural for my age, dating and romance, is really difficult now. I felt like it was difficult for me before because I've always been a unique woman. I don't feel like what every guy dreams of. I have an opinion, and strong will, I'm independent and not submissive. I keep guys around as friends easily, but I'm not the little flower that many men like to have. Now I have to tell them that I'm HIV positive and wait and see what their reaction is. But I'm not in a place in my life where I'm really thinking about that. I mean yeah, I would like to be in a relationship. My feeling is that, with a good friendship, you don't plan it, you don't force it, it just happens.
Back to top